How Bizarre, How Bizarre

Weirdos from this planet



The Ultimate Chain Letter (Comment from an Indian guy on the chain letter and virus warnings rubbish)
Der Kampf gegen Windmühlen (Klugscheißerseite) (very German)
Die Apostroph-S-Hass-Seite (Apostrophenkatastrophen) (German)
Deppenleerzeichen (Deppen Leer Zeichen) (German)
"Orgasm in Cans" (Advert for the energy drink "Start Me Up", found on the front page of a Viennese magazine. I wonder whether the drink can live up to this expectations.)
"Something to do with your hands that won't make you go blind: Sega Game Gear. Now you can play with yourself for hours"

 (British advert)
[Newspaper Article]

From the Bayreuther Anzeiger (12.4.95)

Satire: Real life often is the best satire.

" WARNING: some of the below lists may reference pages which contain adult material. If you are not 18 years of age, we ask you to consider whether or not your parents or guardians would want you to be visiting these pages. Please consider respecting their experience and wishes."
Can You imagine a kid being put off by that ?
From the old "Web-Counter Additional Top-1000 List". This used to be the full version of what was later The Web Counter's Top 100 Usage List (Clean Version). By the way, the first item on the clean list (not containing "adult material") was only be on rank 66 of the full list (at the time this was writen).


The following collection is not from "real life" but nevertheless very interesting: The British Press:

  • The Times is read by the people who run the country.
  • The Daily Mirror is read by the people who think they run the country.
  • The Guardian is read by the people who think they ought to run the country.
  • The Morning Star is read by the people who think the country ought to be run by another country.
  • The Independent is read by the people who don't know who runs the country but are sure they're doing it wrong.
  • The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country.
  • The Financial Times is read by the people who own the country.
  • The Daily Express is read by the people who think the country ought to be run as it used to be run.
  • The Daily Telegraph is read by the people who still think it is their country.
  • And the Sun's readers don't care who runs the country as long as she's got big tits.

From Yes Prime Minister, A Conflict Of Interest.

Klick here for an unusual attempt to avoid prosecution for drunk driving (49KB jpg)
A few quotes from outstanding examples of our species:

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest

Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
-- Mariah Carey

I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
-- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release Of subpoenaed documents

When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.
-- Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.
-- Former French President Charles De Gaulle

The loss of life will be irreplaceable.
-- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the San Francisco earthquake.

It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody.
-- Richard M. Nixon

When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame.
-- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the complex social issues behind the Los Angeles Riots

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
-- Samuel Goldwyn

I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.
-- John Wayne

It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
-- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind.
-- General William Westmoreland

What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.
-- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle at a fundraising event for the United Negro College Fund. He was attempting to quote the line "a mind is a terrible thing to waste"

I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.
-- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.
-- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle


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